Impatience or Depression?

I think I am the most impatient person on this planet. I do not understand why David hasn't called me. I am beginning to think that God was indeed teasing me about this whole thing. I am already taking happy pills, (3 a day!) and this isn't helping! I talked to him on Christmas Day because I called him. We talked for about 10 minutes. I hope things get better after he takes the second part of his big test on Monday. If not, I give up.

I have had a really big problem being content with things lately. I hate it that when I go home for the holidays I am the only one there without a family. That sucks! I realize that I am pretty self-sufficient, but when I look at my house I get depressed thinking that it was all I could afford. I didn't even pay for my own car! My parents got if for me for Christmas a few years ago. I hate to think what I would be driving if I had to buy my own. Right now my dogs are the only things I am proud of...how sad is that?

Here I Go...

I am at the point of no return. I officially want to have David's children! He came to church in his scrubs AGAIN and my heart stopped beating! We are going to get together this next weekend, too! He wants me to call him this week. If he hadn't been on call this morning and had to go back to the hospital, I think we would've gone to lunch after church. Holy cow! I don't know whether to be excited or nervous about this whole thing. He better not have a nurse on the side!

More Random Thoughts...

I found out about a week ago that my dad really thought he was going to die when he had his heart attack. He didn't think he would live until he landed in Odessa and saw the doctors and nurses running out to meet the helicopter! He doesn't know that I know this, however. My mom told me. That is so scary.

It snowed on me Thanksgiving day. It snowed the entire drive down to Big Spring and all day Thanksgiving. I had my niece take a picture of me with the dogs out in the snow. It came out really good. It took forever to get them to be still and cooperate!

On another note...I feel like David and I are becoming better friends everytime we see each other. I can't stress enough how much I want something to work out with him. I didn't want to get too involved with this "hopefulness," but that is too late. The deed is done. I will be very disappointed if nothing happens. I know God is in control and "...all things work together..." I also re-discovered a verse in Psalms: "Delight yourself in the LORD and He will give you the desires of your heart." Psalm 37:4 Of course, I also keep thinking of what George Lopez always says (I LOVE watching George Lopez!) "I got this...!" I think that sometimes God wants to yell "I got this!" down at me several times a day. In fact, I'm pretty sure He is doing it right now!

God is Good...

Well, my weekend was interesting! My dad had a heart attack on Saturday, and if my mom hadn't found him when she did, he would have died. She had gone to a women's breakfast at church, and when she got home he was sitting in the chair as white as could be, sweating, and in GREAT pain. He was having a hard time breathing, too. So, she called my oldest brother, who is a cop, and he came to the house with lights AND sirens! For those that don't know, lights and sirens are serious! He helped my mom get my dad to the car. He didn't want to go. He said if they would leave him alone, he would be fine in a few minutes. Yeah, fine and DEAD! So, my brother escorted my mom to the ER with his lights and sirens. They put a clot buster in and airlifted him to Odessa. When he got to Odessa, they put in a stint and he was fine. The doctor kept saying how lucky he was and telling us that we don't realize how close he was to dying. If we had waited on an ambulance, he wouldn't have made it. Thank God for helicopters! The hospital in Big Spring isn't equipped to handle those types of emergiencies. He's fine, now, though. He went to work today. They unclogged the artery that was 100% blocked and will do the one that is 80% blocked on November 9th. I did not like the feeling I had on Saturday! I was very worried and scared! But, everything is fine. I would like to meet the doctor who invented the stint and give him a great big HUG, and I'm not a hugger!!

"For we know that ALL things work together for good for those who love God and are called according to His purpose." Romans 8:28

Just for Marti...

Whoever said that cleaning a house was not a work-out has never cleaned mine! I have been cleaning since 10:45 this morning and right now it is 12:45. Now I have to go OUTSIDE and do the yard. By the end of the day I will be able to say I worked out today.

I can't wait until Sunday! I get to see David. I really hope something comes from this friendship. I am trying not to hope too much, though. One let down is enough for me. Actually two. I had a serious man in college right out of high school. He turned out to be a cheating jerk who was going to school to be, of all things, a MUSIC MINISTER!!!! I must have "cheat on me" written on my forehead! I am MUCH more "mature" now though. I have experienced the crap, now it's time for the good!

Well, it's off to cut the grass!

I Am So Tired!

OK. I did something today that I have not done since I was in high school: I slept until noon! I didn't even realize I had slept so late! In fact, I am still pretty tired, so I think I will go take a nap! Sleep is a wonderful thing!

Yes, I am still alive...

Wow! Marti can leave mean comments! :~) OK. I have managed to get my big ole self out of bed at 6AM for 5 days in a row. I think I deserve an oreo blizzard, but then I think back to Thursday when I tried to put on a pair of pants I wore last year and they would not button!!!!!! The sucky thing is that I had ironed them and everything! BUMMER! My class is OK. They are big talkers, though, and I am about to get out the duct tape! (JUST KIDDING!!!) I have 21 of the little ankle biters. One of them has never used a computer before and can't seem to find any of the letters he needs on the keyboard. What do they teach in Las Vegas? So, other than paperwork, I now have no life. I did finally manage the time to cut my front and back yards. The dogs were not appreciating the fact that the grass was so tall. Besides, it's very hard to scoop the poop when it is lost in tall grass!

I will leave you with that thought! :~)

Not Gonna Do It and Other Random Thoughts

OK. I have taken my house off the market. I received a doctor bill that needs to be taken care of before I can make any major financial decisions. BUMMER!!! Oh well. It is getting too close to school starting for me to take on a major project like moving. I am having a hard enough time just getting motivated to go back to work!

On a different note...my thyroid adventures started a year ago this week. It has been an interesting year!

On another different note: Mark Teixeira will play in his first game for Atlanta today. He is now #24 instead of #23. Again, I know I am the only one who cares about that, but that is who I am! It's a good thing that the Braves have been my favorite NATIONAL League team since about 1980 when Dale Murphy was their all-star center fielder! It will make it much easier to watch those games. If he had been traded to the Yankees, I would have to be talked down from a very high ledge!!!!

Day of Mourning!!!

I AM IN MOURNING! The Texas Rangers traded my most favorite player of all: Mark Teixeira!!!!!! They traded him to the Atlanta Braves! I am physically ill now! I have to go throw up!

I'm Going For It!

OK. Yesterday I met with a realtor and decided to sell my house. It was a hard decision because I love my house and have put so much work into it. HOWEVER, the house across the street from me was broken into Sunday morning while the people were at church. THe idiots broke the back gate and got in through the back. I had been praying that God would let me know what to do, and I think that was His answer! I looked at about 7 houses yesterday, and only 1 was even remotely close to what I would want! YIKES! All of them are over in the Northridge area. There are three more I am going to look at, probably this week. I hope I find something before school starts!

All Star Game Selections

Again, I know I am the only one I know who cares about this, but the best short stop the Rangers have ever had (Michael Young) was voted in for the All Star team. Now, if only Mark Teixeira wasn't injured, I'm sure he'd be there, too. Of course, Sammy didn't make it! I am shocked! He has 602 career home runs! Anyway...That's really all I have to say. It is summer and I lead a very boring existence! One interesting thing that did happen yesterday...I locked myself out of my house and my friend's daughter from across the street climbed the back fence, went in through the back door, and let me in. I thought the front door was unlocked when I locked the back gate after cutting my front yard. NOPE! Lucky for me the back door was unlocked!

I'm BORED!!!

OK. Summer is now officially old. Other than going out to the Haven, I have done mostly nothing. I am so tired of sleeping all the time, but there is nothing else to do. It is too hot during the day to walk the dogs. Ranger huffs and puffs for HOURS when I take them in the afternoon. It is not good for them. Dr. Phil is even getting on my nerves, and I used to love watching him. He is getting too liberal and politically correct, and making it sound like "therapist advice!" (Right now he is talking about the "N" word. You know, when I was younger, that was not a bad word! In fact, my dad still uses it! It wasn't bad until the OJ Simpson fiasco. I think if that is a bad word, then "honkey" should be a bad word, too.)

I have already finished 2 novels and gotten a sunburn. I have re-painted my sunroom and shampooed my carpets. I am thinking of repainting my hallway, too. The only problem is...paint costs MONEY! I have been learning how to edit my school web page. That has killed some time. Well, I guess I'll go find something to clean! :)

SLAMMIN' SAMMY!

Well, I know most people don't care that Sammy Sosa just hit his 600th homerun, but I do! Of course, I was out working in the yard when he did it! :-( Oh well. He still did it, and that is all that matters.

I have done very well with my exercise this week. I have done some sort of exercise every day. I have also only had 2 cokes so far this week. The rest has been water. Lemon water has saved me! I just can't stand drinking lots of "normal" water! I have also discovered the Paradise Fruit from Bahama Bucks. WOW! That stuff is good. BUT...since it is so expensive, I have decided to make my own at home. Fresh fruit is expensive, though. I did but some and made a big fresh fruit salad for snacks. Hopefully I will lose some of this extra "thyroid" weight!

2nd Job to Pay the Bills!

Well, I have a job interview on Wednesday at Advanced Graphics. It is for a part time sales assistant position. I will be doing computer work, setting up displays, answering phones, etc. It pays $10 an hour. I hate to have to get another job, but this whole surgery, radiation, and medication thing kinda put a crimp in the budget! $3 a gallon gas is not helping at all! I hope it will be mornings and no weekends, but I will do just about any day and time at this point. You know, it really makes Frenship look bad when their teachers with MASTER'S DEGREES have to get a second job to pay the bills. I feel like I wasted my parent's money by getting that degree since I am not getting paid for it. It is really pretty degrading and makes me feel like a huge failure! And, you know, I really don't have that many bills. House payment, utilities, credit card, furniture (which will be paid off at the end of August), car and pet insurance, Bodyworks, and life insurance. I guess the house payment is the killer. My medical is taken out of my check every month: nearly $300, and that is just for medication! Oh well, I guess I will look at it this way...I will NOT be in debt, I am being responsible, AND maybe God will introduce me to my husband! (Since I didn't meet a Dr. McDreamy last August!) I will meet new people and have some adult conversation. It could be fun! I will keep you "posted!" HA! :-)

IT'S SUMMER!

YEE HAW!! I am so glad I am finally off! I was actually kinda sad to see my kids leave on Friday. It doesn't hit me until everyone is gone and I see desks that are completely empty: no books, trash, pencils, papers, etc. It is not so bad now, though, because I will get to see most of them again next year just down the hall.

I will be able to get way more exercise now, too. I am always so much more faithful in the summer than during the year. I can walk the babies a couple of times a day, plus go to the gym. I also work in the yard quite a bit. Maybe the exercise will help me to not be so forgetful!! I can't seem to remember anything! (Marti, I am SO SORRY that I missed Ry's game! I promise I was was going to come! I just fell asleep. What else is new, right?) I guess "Slacker Central" really is a good name for this site!

What a Heartbreaking Decision!

Well, I found a really precious female dauchsand in my yard Sunday morning. I went out to get the paper on my way to church, and she just came right up to me! Needless to say I didn't make it to church! She was so cute! I put signs up in the neighborhood and at Petsmart. I was going to keep her, but Diamond didn't like her and barked at her the whole time. I did keep her overnight. I finally got her to eat and drink, and she wouldn't leave my side. She curled up in my lap everytime I sat down. She slept curled up next to me all night. I just fell in love with her. It did, however, give me some perspective on how HUGE my own dogs are! This dog was the size of Ranger's head! Since I couldn't keep her, I took her out to The Haven this morning. I cried a little when I had to hand her over. I did volunteer, though. I filled out the paperwork and will hopefully start sometime this week or this weekend. I will go after school for a couple of hours and feed them. This will give me something to do this summer so I don't sit home all day. I think I need to build a house out in the country so I can have as many dogs as I want. No animal deserves to be without a place to live and people to care for it. They are God's creatures and we should take care of them.

God did use this to show me something. He showed me that if He would watch out for a little dog like that one by providing food and shelter when it was in need, He FOR SURE would take care of me no matter what! Funny how God would use a cute little dog to drive home a point! I know the Bible already says that about Him taking care of the sparrows, but He made it real for me this weekend!

Random Thoughts...

I think I have the worst luck of anyone I know lately. I have pulled a ligament on the right side of my back and it is swollen. I can feel the knot when I lean back against a chair! I have no idea how I did it. I think God is trying to see what kind of character I have as a POOR person! It's a good thing I am a homebody!

On a different note...I CAN'T BELIEVE THE WAY GREY'S ANATOMY ENDED LAST NIGHT! I wanted to grab Dr. McDreamy and hug him! Meredith better not screw it up! I also think George and Izzy will get together. I think she will find out she is pregnant, so George and STUPID, FAT, UGLY Callie will break up. I just don't like her!!!! She looked horrible in that bridesmaids dress!

Happy Mother's Day!

Well, tomorrow is Friday and I don't have to go to work! YEAH!! I am going to a workshop, so I get to sleep in some. I am also going to Big Spring to see my mama. The dogs are very excited! They LOVE her. They pretty much ignore me when we are there. They stay clear of my dad, though. He doesn't like dogs. Oh well...

I have discovered a new GREAT show! It is called Traveler. It is pretty good and has cute boys on it! I think Jay the lawyer is the cutest one. It will be on at 9 on Wednesdays starting on the 30th. At least I will be home from working out by then! YEAH! A new hobby...

The WORST thing I've EVER Seen...

OK. I just saw the absolute worst thing in my life. I was out mowing my yard when a white Avalanche comes down the street. It stopped suddenly and backed up. When I looked up again the drivers and the people who live in the house 3 doors down were standing in the street looking at the DOG they had just run over!!!! I almost threw up right there in my yard! I ran over there and the guy asked me if I wanted to see it. I, of course, told him no. I did tell him that there is an emergency dog hospital over by CVS on 34th and Slide. He said he thought it was dead. It was his dog and he wasn't even trying to save it! They did finally pick it up and lay it in the yard. I had to go inside because I was now sick to my stomach. I ran to my dogs and hugged them and kissed them like crazy! I am still sick about it. I can't even go out and finish my yard. I am NEVER letting my dogs out in the front without being on their leashes again. They love my friend Stacey across the street, and whenever they see her they bolt across the street before I can stop them. We've had a few close calls. NEVER AGAIN!!!! My only hope is that the dog died instantly and didn't feel anything. What would I do? I would be a basket case. These dogs are my kids, and I would do anything for them. UUGGHH!!! There but by the grace of God...

First of all...

OK. I was told that technically I am an intermediate in karate and not a beginner. So sorry MARTI!! (Ms. I am an awesome BLACK BELT!!) :-)

On a different note, I had a kid tell the assistant principal today that he wished I was dead! Isn't that peachy?! That added to my week and it is only TUESDAY! To top that off, the Rangers are losing right now to New York 9-0. As Charlie Brown would say, "Good grief!!"

I also found out today that I have to do an "abbreviated" radiation treatment for the thyroid cancer I had in August. Apparently, my first endocrinologist didn't do the required scan to make sure it was all gone, and now my symptoms are back. I will do all of this the week of June 11. That means I can't help with VBS at my church since I can't be around children that week. Usually April has been the month where bad things happen to me, but I am thinking May might take over that distinction.

OK. Enough venting! I guess I should be thankful for what I do have: a great family, two awesome dogs, good friends, a job that pays the bills, a roof over my head, food in my kitchen (even if it is full of calories!), clothes to wear (we should ALL be thankful for that!), a sound mind (for the most part), and good health. I know I could go on and on. So, I guess when I am feeling sorry for myself, I should sit down and list my blessings. There are always people out there who are in worse shape!

Here I am!

I have no idea why I even did this. I think it was so I could reply to Marti's blogs. I have no life, therefore, nothing to post! It's raining today and it SUCKS! I am ready for 100 degree weather to get here so I can be outside. That is about all I have to say right now. Oh...GO RANGERS!!